This idea came from a friend's blog....
100 Things
I have lived
1. … for 10 years with a great husband (hard to believe its been that long!)
2. … in Kentucky 99% of my life.
3. … on Walt Disney World property for 3 months.
4. … in NYC for 3 months.
5. … a wonderfully full life.
6. … 16 years of my life in the same house with both parents and a brother.
7. … in safe, warm places.
8. … through some hard times.
9. … for 35 years.
10. … with the best kid in the world!
I have witnessed
11.… people's lives being changed.
12.… someone saying final goodbyes with grace.
13.… divorce.
14.… marriage.
15.… birth.
16.… death.
17.… lots of fun being had.
18.… spontaneous expressions of gratitude.
19.… sadness.
20.… dreams coming true.
I have heard
21.… some of my bestest friends sing beautiful music.
22.… that if you light a match in the bathroom, it will make it smell better.
23.… wonderful laughter of children.
24.… lots of sports on tv lately.
25.… my cat meow as I come through the door.
26.… my name called among the graduates, three times.
27.… my husband preach a few times :).
28.… myself preach less times.
29.… birds singing early in the morning.
30.… my son pattering into our bedroom in the middle of the night.
I have lost
31. … my keys many times.
32.… my purse a few times.
33.… most of my sanity.
34.… my temper - at least once a month.
35.… my fondness for school.
36.… the hope that I could ever work in a traditional church again.
37.… my mother-in-law to cancer.
38.… the first minister I ever really connected with (again to cancer).
39.… connections with old friends.
40.… most of my attachment to the way things are "supposed to be."
I have found
41.… my keys many times.
42.… my purse many times.
43.… marriage is a lot of work.
44. … motherhood is harder work.
45. … I am pretty darn strong.
46.… rotten food in my refrigerator more times than I should.
47. … love.
48. … connections with old friends.
49. … out that I really am an artist!
50. … that it is okay to be honest, really.
I love
51. … life.
52. … laughter.
53. … wine and vodka...not together.
54. … music, art, dance, creativity of all kinds.
55. … listening.
56. … reading.
57. … cute old men.
58. … children - especially my own.
59. … a good challenge.
60. … a great solution.
I can
61. … bring home the bacon.
62. … fry it up in a pan.
63. … talk on the phone for hours and hours.
64. … sleep for hours.
65. … read all night long.
66. … play the flute.
67. … be a real smart-ass.
68. … pick up things with my toes.
69. … stand up for what I believe in.
70. … daydream.
I loath
71. … arrogance.
72. … racism, sexism and homophobia...and all the other isms.
73. … small-minded people.
74. … meanness.
75. … being embarassed.
76. … Republican ideals i.e. "family values."
77. … fundamentalists that think they're the only ones that have the answers.
78. … doing laundry.
79. … morning.
80. …exclusion.
I hope
81. … for an end to hate.
82. … that the war ends very soon.
83... that the church will change for the better.
84. … that my son will grow up to be a compassionate, passionate, loving, fun, person that has a faith that is his own.
85. … that I get to visit some places far and away.
86. … that I learn from my mistakes.
87. … to write a book someday.
88. … that people know I love them.
89. … to learn to play the bagpipes.
90. … that stem-cell research brings cures to many diseases.
I am trying
91. … to live my call.
92. … to be faithful.
93. … to be myself.
94. … to be an effective mom.
95. … to be a good wife...not in the traditional sense, of course, but in the way that my huband needs.
96. … to start a church.
97. … to keep from losing my mind in the process.
98. … to live with integrity and intention.
99. … to do too much, I think.
100. to love more and fear less.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Monday, April 2, 2007
Holy Week Warning
Just a little Holy Week advice....don't have PMS and attempt Holy Week. It's hard enough with hormonal balance. The emotions of the week...Palm Sunday...Maundy Thursday...Good Friday...Easter. It's just too much.
And, you know it's too much when during the opening hymn at church on Palm Sunday, you want to turn around to the congregation and holler..."How can you sing this (All Glory Laud and Honor) when you know what's to come?" And then the tears start flowing ... and don't stop throughout the entire service.
I usually love Palm Sunday. I love the palms and the music and the triumphant entry. But, yesterday, I was just sad...and pissed. Sad that it only took a few days from parade fanfare to execution. And pissed that we (the church) still think of it as victory and triumph.
I was worried that the sermon would focus on this triumphal Sunday of palms and parades. I should've been worried about the sermon...but for different reasons. It was the kind of sermon that kicks one in the ass....in the best sort of spiritual way. Instead of focusing on the hosannas, it focused on the prayer in the garden. The kind of prayer that all of us have surely prayed...if there is anything you can do about this, God, please do it. Save my child, my mother, my friend, my lover...from illness, suffering, disappointment, death. What happens when that prayer is not answered in the way we so want it, need it to be?
It becomes a faith in spite of, instead of faith because of. In spite of the hardness of life, the injustices, the strain and stress, the disappointments, the failures...we continue to have faith.
So, I sat there with tears streaming down my face as I thought of where I/we are right now. The dream, the call to do this new thing ... that has felt so much like a call from the Divine ... that seems to be slipping away or at least morphing into something else altogether. Not slipping away because of lack of effort or moral support or faith or hard-ass work but shear lack of finances. I cried for all of the people's dreams that have fallen away - failed relationships; dreams of growing up with a grandmother by your child's side; of having parents that love each other; of living a simple, healthy life. I cried for the injustice and violence that we observe this week. For all of those who have bravely spoken out for the underdog, the oppressed, the down-trodden - only to be fired, made fun of, shot at, killed.
Thank God for the closing hymn....it made me laugh and get it back together before I had to greet people as we all went about our week. The closing hymn was "The Old Rugged Cross." What a horrible, gross, hilarious hymn! Nothing like a little suffering and shame, blood-staining and promises of a crown to bring a little sunshine to the soul.
ps...did i mention that the aforementioned kick-ass sermon was preached by my husband? i always love hearing what insights he has...and it is always a great surprise and a reminder of one of the reasons i love him.
And, you know it's too much when during the opening hymn at church on Palm Sunday, you want to turn around to the congregation and holler..."How can you sing this (All Glory Laud and Honor) when you know what's to come?" And then the tears start flowing ... and don't stop throughout the entire service.
I usually love Palm Sunday. I love the palms and the music and the triumphant entry. But, yesterday, I was just sad...and pissed. Sad that it only took a few days from parade fanfare to execution. And pissed that we (the church) still think of it as victory and triumph.
I was worried that the sermon would focus on this triumphal Sunday of palms and parades. I should've been worried about the sermon...but for different reasons. It was the kind of sermon that kicks one in the ass....in the best sort of spiritual way. Instead of focusing on the hosannas, it focused on the prayer in the garden. The kind of prayer that all of us have surely prayed...if there is anything you can do about this, God, please do it. Save my child, my mother, my friend, my lover...from illness, suffering, disappointment, death. What happens when that prayer is not answered in the way we so want it, need it to be?
It becomes a faith in spite of, instead of faith because of. In spite of the hardness of life, the injustices, the strain and stress, the disappointments, the failures...we continue to have faith.
So, I sat there with tears streaming down my face as I thought of where I/we are right now. The dream, the call to do this new thing ... that has felt so much like a call from the Divine ... that seems to be slipping away or at least morphing into something else altogether. Not slipping away because of lack of effort or moral support or faith or hard-ass work but shear lack of finances. I cried for all of the people's dreams that have fallen away - failed relationships; dreams of growing up with a grandmother by your child's side; of having parents that love each other; of living a simple, healthy life. I cried for the injustice and violence that we observe this week. For all of those who have bravely spoken out for the underdog, the oppressed, the down-trodden - only to be fired, made fun of, shot at, killed.
Thank God for the closing hymn....it made me laugh and get it back together before I had to greet people as we all went about our week. The closing hymn was "The Old Rugged Cross." What a horrible, gross, hilarious hymn! Nothing like a little suffering and shame, blood-staining and promises of a crown to bring a little sunshine to the soul.
ps...did i mention that the aforementioned kick-ass sermon was preached by my husband? i always love hearing what insights he has...and it is always a great surprise and a reminder of one of the reasons i love him.
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